


Best Boy Ever

by danniemv2310



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Dysphoria, Established Relationship, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Trans Character, Trans Michael, angst-ish, curvy michael
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-07
Updated: 2017-06-07
Packaged: 2018-11-10 05:19:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11120730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/danniemv2310/pseuds/danniemv2310
Summary: Jeremy and Michael are dating. Michael doesn't like how thicc he is. Jeremy very much does.





	Best Boy Ever

    Jeremy loves Michael’s body. He loves his big hips. He loves his thick, curly hair. He loves his full, kissable lips. He _loves_ his thick thighs. He loves the way his voice cracks from the testosterone and how embarrassed and red in the face Michael gets whenever it happens. He loves his small shoulders and strong calves and pierced ears. Jeremy loves everything about Michael.

    Michael hates his body and it’s fluff around the edges. He hates that it makes him feel less masculine. He hates that he has to wear a binder to flatten his chest. But, he hates having breasts even more. He hates his hips and his thighs. He hates hating himself. “I don’t get how you can like my ass so much. It makes me look more feminine,” he complains.

    “But, it really give me something to hold on to when we make-out,” Jeremy responds. He grabs Michael’s hips and pulls him against his body.

    “Jeremy, we’re in the middle of the mall. During rush hour. On a Saturday.” They’d been there for hours and the crowd hardly diminished.  

    “And..?”

    “People will stare. There are children here _and_ middle-aged white women.”

    “So? Let them stare. I love my amazing _boy_ friend and if anyone has a problem with that they can take it up with me.”

    “Hun, you weigh, like, 110 pounds max. They would destroy you.”

    “One-hundred twenty, but my point still stands.”

    “You’re cute. Stupid, but cute.”

    “Thank you,” Jeremy says. He leans in and connects his lips to Michael’s for just a moment until Michael pulls away.

    “Not here. Do you wanna go back to my place?”

    “And smoke weed in the basement?”

    “You know me so well.”

   

    They take Michael’s PT Cruiser back to his house. “Mom! I’m home! Jeremy’s here too!”

    “Ok, honey. Don’t do anything stupid! Your father and I are going to dinner with the Turners. We’ll be back around midnight!”

    “Ok!”

    They head immediately downstairs and Jeremy falls onto the sofa. Michael heads to the bathroom and starts the shower. He pulls off his hoodie and heads back into the main area. Jeremy is on his phone with his feet propped on the arm of the sofa. “Pot’s in the cabinet by the bookshelf. Had to move it. I’m gonna take a shower real fast. Don’t get too baked without me.”

    “Yeah, yeah, yeah, nerd. Don’t take too long and I won’t smoke all your weed.”

    “Shut up.” Michael walks over and Jeremy sits up. They kiss. Jeremy likes to kiss with tongue. A lot of tongue. Some would say too much tongue. He’s rough and likes to bite Michael’s lip in the heat of the moment. Michael prefers a more romantic and soft approach. He prefers the gentle press of lips and the pull of Jeremy’s hand in his hair. He prefers the gasps for air. He prefers Jeremy’s hands on his hips and worshipping every inch of Michael’s body. Michael prefers to feel like he belongs in his body, just for a moment or two. They usually find a happy middle.

    “Shower,” Michael says while pulling away.

    “Boo, loser. Can’t we keep kissing?” Jeremy pouts his lips and bats his eyes.

    “We can do a whole hell of a lot more,” he leans down and kisses Jeremy again, “after I take a shower.”

    “Fine, but hurry.” Jeremy says.

 

Michael slips out of his clothes until he’s down to just the binder. He looks in the mirror and runs a hand down his chest. He sighs and begins the struggle of taking the binder off.  He loves the way his chest looks with it, but it is a bitch to take off (and put on for that matter). After a 3-minute struggle, he is out of the binder and he can breath freely again. He sighs out of exhaustion this time and throws the binder in the pile with his hoodie.

He steps into the shower and lets the water run over his face and down his body. He wishes it would wash off the extra bits he didn’t want with it. He wishes it were that easy. He wishes he didn’t look so curvy. He wishes he was more masculine. He knows masculinity and femininity are constructs meant to divide the genders, but he can’t help the influence it has over him. He doesn’t want people to perceive him as a girl and that means he wants to get those bits that make him feel shitty off .

Michael thinks he starts crying, but he can’t quite tell with the water running over his face. He decides to ignore that as best as he can and quickly wash his hair. He knows Jeremy’s already finished off a joint and if he doesn’t hurry, he’ll get started on another one.

Michael finally makes his way out of the shower and dries himself off. He slips on the pair of boxers he was wearing earlier and pulls on his hoodie. He zips it up and heads back out to Jeremy who has turned on Sonic Adventure Battle 2 and has, as Michael predicted, gotten himself pretty high already.

    “Babe... you look too long...” Jeremy whines. Michael walks and crawls on top of Jeremy, who is stretched out on the couch.

    “But, I’m worth the wait though, right?”

    “Of course, but still… there’s only so much a horny guy can do while his gorgeous boyfriend is in the other room.”

    “Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just kiss me, you idiot,” and Jeremy does just that. He places his hands on Michael’s cheeks and pulls his face down to his own. Michael’s has his arms placed on either side of Jeremy to hold himself up and keep his chest as far from Jeremy’s as reasonably possible.

    “Babe,” Jeremy says, “are you okay?”  

    “I’m fine.” Michael sits up and feels his face, realizing it’s probably still red.

    “Were you crying?”

“Can we not talk about it?”

“If you don’t want to, then we won’t,” Jeremy reassures and sits himself up so that Michael is now sitting in his lap. He runs his hand through Michael’s damp hair and kisses his forehead.

Michael nudges his hand away. “I just- I don’t feel good right now. I’m not o-okay and I just need you to help me... feel better right now. I just need you to..., fuck, this is stupid. I need you to, um- love me, unconditionally.” Michael runs his hands over his face and through his hair. He leaves his hands on his cheeks and avoids eye contact with Jeremy. A tear starts rolling down his face.

“Hey, look at me. I love you. I love everything about you. I know you’re uncomfortable with your body and I know, I mean, I want you to be able to love your body and I understand you have things you want and need to change for your health and general well-being. But, if it's any consolation, I love you no matter if you have breasts or cellulite. I love that you have thick thighs and curves and I love your ass. My god, Michael, your ass.”

Michael laughs a little at that. “I get it, Jeremy. Believe me. I just, I don't know. I-” Jeremy interrupts him and continues. “I love your soft hair and your high-pitched laugh. I love when your voice cracks and I love the way your eyes light up when you see me and I love how you kiss me. God, the way you kiss Michael. It’s like being sent to heaven. It’s like being in love and that’s totally apt, because I am so in love with you.”

Michael’s face got warmer and warmer as Jeremy rambled on. He’s sure it is beet red and that he looks stupid and ugly. Yet, he looks into Jeremy’s eyes and sees nothing but love. He feels the adoration radiating off of his skin. “I love you. I love you so much and I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

Jeremy takes Michael’s hand and pulls them to his lips. He kisses every bit of exposed arms until he reaches the rolled up sleeves of Michael’s hoodie. He moves up to Michael’s collarbone and neck. He kisses everywhere. “I love you, Michael.” He kisses Michael’s jaw, near his ear. “I love you.” He kisses his forehead. “Best boyfriend ever.” Michael’s nose. “Best boy ever.” Finally he reaches Michael’s lips.

Michael sighs and releases as much of the tension in his body as he can. “I’m sorry for all of this.”

“You don’t have to apologize, Michael. This is what people do when they love each other. They care for each other and they help each other when they feel like shit.”

“I know, I know. I just can’t help but feel like a burden, you know? Don’t respond to that. I just want to be okay and right now I’m not. I know I could be and I know I will be. But, for now, can you just make love to me?” he pauses, “And pass the weed.”

**Author's Note:**

> my tumblr: officialilseneumann.tumblr.com


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